I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
