I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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