we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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