omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
