I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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