I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
