yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
