Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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