So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
