I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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