dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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