lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
