Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
3 2 1 whiskey
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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