Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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