Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
