So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
