Just took my morning after pill in the library
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
