the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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