is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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