I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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