Little spoons don't ask big questions
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize