Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
