And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
