but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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