i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
