Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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