I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
