Can i not drive my cunt home
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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