Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
