The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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