another moral hangover. fuck.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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