Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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