Its about making memories worth repressing
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.