1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals