My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?