im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
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Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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