i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize