She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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