her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
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