I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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