Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize