i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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