plz talk dirty to me
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
