my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
