literally had 100 drinks last night.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
