Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
