this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
