i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
