Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize