we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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