Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
