We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i think i have herpe
just one?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
