dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
