Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Sober January is a disaster.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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