I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
