Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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