i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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